A-Z of why I don't want to get married so early

Age - 26 does not seem so old assuming an average age of 70
Base location - If both are working then they need to be located in same city
Carelessness- I need to live totally carelessly for a few years
Dilemma - Quandary
Expenses - Expenses will more than triple

Future - Currently i worry about mine, then i need to worry about our future :|
Generation Gap - Every generation the marrying age gets delayed by 4 years (I have empirical evidence :P)
Herd Mentality - Most of my friends are not planning to get married soon , Why should I?
Inertia - I am happy without a big change right now
Job - same as base location
Kids - next logical in sequence,more responsibility, more scary
Luck
Maturity - I don't believe I am mature enough for this
Nocturnal - Used to stay awake at nights and sleep till late, will i adjust to normal lifestyle?
Opportunity cost - self explanatory
Peer Pressure - Some people did get married, but then i never buckled under peer-pressure
Quandary - Dilemma
Responsibility - means i can't return home anytime i want daily
Settled life - I do not exactly feel settled so why add further chaos ;)
Trouble - Unquestioned lifestyle will definitely be set aside
Undo - This feature won't be available so i don't want to rush
View - Same as below
Watch - let's learn by others mistakes, via observation :P
X-factor - ineXplicable but close to luck
Y shd I ? basic question - why should I?
Z - I can't think more , Z is only to complete the alphabet ;)

The ambiguity of Quotes

The ambiguity of Quotes

Quotes are XYZ ( means i do not want to explain what quotes are or how important they are )

But with very little intelligence or slice of luck you can modify their meanings.
As has always been lets take an example

“कल करे सो आज कर – आज करे सो अब”

Meaning –
What you need to do tomorrow, finish it today itself. And for things to be done today do them NOW
Clearly states the importance of beginning and finishing tasks early.

Ambiguity can be induced by either Interpretation or Timing. Both are required for changing the complete meaning.

The first part is taken care by Interpretation while second portion requires perfect Timing

Interpretation - कल the word itself is dual meaning.
Along with tomorrow it also means Yesterday ;)

If we replace the meaning with yesterday the Quote turns on its head :D :D

What you needed to do yesterday do it today ;)

Timing –
Try quoting the second part towards the end of the day (definitely past 11th hour)
This will imply what you needed to do today (today morning) you can do in the evening / night ;)

Combine Interpretation and Timing and Awesome – the quote now is
What you needed to do yesterday do it today + What you needed to do early in the day can be done later ;)

TV

We were born in India at the same time as Tv was born.

Practically there were no computers forget laptops. Everyone used to watch Tv together

We used to see soaps like Mahabharat, Ramayana.
Comedies like Flop Show , Dekh Bhai Dekh
Shows like Surbhi, Tehkikaat
English ones like Street Hawk and Knight Rider

Then as we grew up we had to waste more time into ungainly activities like studies.
During that time we had a fixed slot of being awake
We used to sleep at 10:00 hrs and get up at 6:30 hrs
Most of the awake time was taken by activities like school and getting ready for school and commuting to and fro from school.
We played in the evening … returned home had dinner and slept after a while.
In this limited amount of time we also had to fulfill expectations of school teachers –aka HOMEWORK

As we grew old the study part increased
And as we could not compromise on important activities like dinner and play the time had to come from sleep/Tv time.

This started our degradation into watching lesser Tv.
Then after a certain period of time we enetered 10th the era of tuitions => we had to devote time to a subset of school in the evenings and mornings.
This Tv deficiency continued for few more years and worsened.

Then we entered college and the first thing we discovered was that we could cut time from unimportant activities like lectures ;) so that we could do all other important work.
We never missed a cricket match again unless it was on day of exams.

Then sometime in mid of all this COMPUTERS arrived and to turn things worse ….advent of Internet, Cd’s DVD’s almost killed the good old Tv.

# # # # in the picture denotes the advent of the internet/laptops/dvd/vcd etc etc

A moron’s guide to more moronic questions

We often come across questions in various facets of our life.
Many a times we feel these are redundant, useless, waste of time.
The questions are long …..really long … so long that you feel that if such questions were never printed we would not have faced the global warming problem. :)
The answers (or expected answers) fare even worse.

I quest to resolve those issues by focusing on the answers
Assumption – we are not yet in a position to manipulate (eliminate will be better) the questions

Lets begin
A moron’s guide to more moronic questions ;-)

1. Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? 7-10 years?
Ans – I am good at math’s 3-5 = -2. Two years in my past – 2008. By same logic – 2007 :)

2. Sometimes, we may find a group of people disagreeing with our beliefs/point of view. Give us an instance where you had to convince a group of people on your point of view. (Maximum 500 characters)?
Ans - If I had convinced 500 characters why would I be here :O

3. At times, many of us are caught in a situation of moral conflict, where we have to choose between two seemingly right alternatives. Give us one situation when you faced this conflict. How did you resolve it?
Ans - I had a coin :)

4. Tell me about a time when you had to make a split second decision.
Ans - The time when my fist decision was accused of being too generic or joint :)

5. Describe a situation where you had to assimilate analyze a lot of information to reach a sound decision.
Ans – Well we had a Dj party at college and I was incharge of the Music System..... :) :)

Bad Day

I had to travel again
It was a routine official tour.
I Booked the ticket 2 days ago.
And Went to Old Delhi Railway station.
Just decided to look at the list of passengers and saw my name was not there.
I Checked my tickets to realize I was one day early :(

I say - Not my day
and Came back from the railway track

Booked a movie online.
Went to ticket counter with the ticket ID
ID did not match. SO i gave credit card to countercheck, it didn’t match either.
i Checked my mail.
I had booked the tickets in a theater with same name in Lucknow instead of Delhi.
By the time we asked for new tickets ….show was houseful :(

Some days are bad :X
Just like today- Friday 13th August , 2010

I do not believe in 13 being bad or Friday the 13 being bad..........

Once upon a time

On Friendship day ……. trying to remember a bit of the past

Once upon a time!

1. We used to play more and watch less cricket
2. We used to shout and call friends for playing instead of using cell phones
3. We Used to sleep on rooftops during summers
4. We used to have balconies in theaters
5. We used to like hotel food than home cooked food
6. Ice-creams and soft drinks were occasional
7. We used to be fit (not fat)
8. We visited people instead of their profiles ;)

Life was simple ….but it had to change

However some things change some don’t -

We used to trick our ways through projects … we still do...Only the medium changed

Sachin Tendulkar was the best batsman in the world then … he still is :)

Note - title inspired by a friend known as GOD :)

Success Excellence & you

We've all seen 3 Idiots and loved it.
It is the highest grosser of all times(bollywood)
However it violates the basic laws of physics in the statement Excellence के पीछे भागो Success तुम्हारे पीछे भागेगी
I believe that You may never achieve Success this way (at least according to Physics)

Assumptions

• The speed of 3 entities Excellence , Success & You is the same
• There is some distance between each of them initially

There can be 3 directions which you can take

1. Run towards Excellence

(stated in the movie as- "Excellence के पीछे भागो Success तुम्हारे पीछे भागेगी " )
In this scenario there will never be a situation when all three overlap.
As the speed is same and Time being constant the distance each covers will be the same hence leaving all 3 at the same distance at which they began.

Conculsion - Running towards Excellence will never get You Success :)

2. Stay where You are

When You stay put then atleast You don't runaway from Success implying Success will get to You in normal course of time.
3. Run opposite to Excellence

Now the relative speed of Success towards You doubles as You are running towards it with same speed.


Thus Excellence के पीछे भागोगे तो Success कभी नहीं मिलेगी
Excellence के उल्टा भागोगे तो Success जल्दी मिलेगी :)
खड़े रहोगे या अपनी जगह पड़े रहोगे तो Success देर से मिलेगी :) पर मिलेगी तो सही :P

Strategies to Handle people :)

Strategy to handle people

Use logic Convince them
If u can’t Convince
Use more (tangential) Logic and Confuse them
If you can’t Confuse
Use much more (Weird) Logic and Distract them
If you can’t Distract
Use much more (Idiotic) Logic and Annoy them

Confusion is useful-->

• While discussing future course of action with employees
• While teaching (when u don’t exactly know it)
• Specially used in “Terms and Conditions” worldwide

Distraction is useful-->

• When one is in pain
• When Boss is pointing out mistakes
• When one is scared
• When parents are looking at grades
• When one is bored
• When teachers ask about missing assignments

Annoyance –>
To learn usage of this strategy
Try asking logically for a raise or promotion and it will be used against you :P

PS: I believe everyone know about most persuasive strategy - Danda :D :D

LUCK

A

I got late to the airport. But the flight got delayed too.

B

I got late to the airport. But the flight was dot on time.

Consistency doesn’t improve luck ....... so enjoy life and try different things

A

I studied 1/8 chapters. All questions were based on that chapter.

B

I studied 7/8 chapters. All questions were based on the 8^th chapter.

Hard Work doesn’t improve luck ......... rather it reduces it :) please refer to a few posts below :)

A

I fought with a person my size, but he slipped

B

I fought with a person twice my size, but I slipped

Enthusiasm doesn’t improve luck ............just do what is just enough :)

A

I bunked the class, professor did not take attendance

B

I bunked the class, professor took attendance for 2 classes

Ambition doesn’t improve luck.................obviously it can't

A

I reached office early and left late, my boss came early and left late

I reached office late and left early, my boss came later and left earlier

B

I reached office early and left late, my boss came late and left early

I reached office late and left early, my boss came early and left late

Punctuality doesn’t improve luck.....................

Luck determines whether you are in situation A or B
As its very clear that the output is different even as the inputs remain same
While we worry about the inputs (i.e effort,hardwork,dedication etc) the results depend on factors far from our control.

So relax and enjoy.... the results are anyways decided by factors above the RED line:)

Delay is Good

Very often people are criticized for starting too late or procrastinating but a proper analysis states otherwise

Doing things 11^th hour improves adaptability, people don’t panic when faced with very tight deadlines.

While if Timely people are provided with 6 hours instead of 10 they start to feel the heat and if it reduces to 4 the sweat, and if it goes to 2 then …. u know :P

On the other side people who do the work in the last hour do not get bothered, rather they don’t even care if the deadline is 10, 6, and 4 or 2 hours as they are mentally prepared to get it done in last few moments only :)

The key tactic is counting back i.e. “if I need to finish something on 10^th and the work takes 2 days I’ll start not before 8”

There are 2 problems that are sure to crop up when you start the work early

1. you finish early – means you get more work instead of reward for efficiency

2. you try to do it thoroughly and get entangled

Both the problems are avoided when we do it the intelligent way :)

Moreover there is a potential benefit of getting the task done automatically (i.e. someone else gets fed up and does it): P

And another advantage is we get to know what kind of (unfinished, low quality, inaccurate) work is passable,

So that we do exactly how much is required rather than full work :)

Example Mithun Da executes this logic perfectly. He knows the fact he can kill the villain in 2 minutes AND the film is 3 hours long. SO he dances around trees, relax, romances and gets beaten too. But he kills the villain in last 2 minutes only.

How Obesity can increase nation’s growth :)

An Obese person means boosted food intake creating more space to fill with food :)

Hence a country full of Fat people will consume more food as compared to a skinny country.

This directly relates to a greater demand for food. If we go backwards it implies more production of food.

Due to sheer increase in surface area :) Obese people will require more clothing as compared to their non-obese counterparts. This means more demands from the clothing industry.

They have more volume hence will need bigger vehicles implying more work for automobile and steel industries

Increased weight means stronger Floors and Furniture thereby rejuvenating these two.

Every individual can contribute to ‘More of everything’ just by increasing her/his size :D

It is rightly said by somebody that Individual Leaders can play a crucial role in growth of the Nation.

Invoke the Leader in you “Be Fat” :)

The picture shows stepwise procedure to do so :P

Did I miss the Paper industry?? Well just relate increased Toilet Paper usage :D

Note: surface area; volume and weight are words in Physics and should be used with great caution

Who am I

A normal commoner's life ----

I like to eat

Everything that seems to be Yummy,
Never mind my ever increasing Tummy

My decisions are Hasty

When I see something Tasty

I love to sleep – everyday and all the way

Foggy Morning or Shivery Night

Gloomy Darkness or Shining Light

I like playing cricket

Hitting runs or taking Wickets

I don’t want to study

Even if there is an exam or the future seems Hazy

I continue my way, commonly called Lazy

I do not have a peculiar hobby

I do not like to collect Stamps or Money

I admire all that’s FUNNY(that doesn't qualify as a hobby)

Focus ….Career….Focus…is out of my Locus (anyways.WTF is that )

How do I decide about next 10 Years?

I rely on my luck and shed all my Fears

I don't think i'll figure it out till I Die

But

This is the closest answer to "Who Am I ?"

SLaziness

Many times we feel lazy and sometimes we do not.

Then would we be classified as Lazy or not Lazy?

Few people can’t tolerate the Ignominy of being called not Lazy;

After all being Active/Proactive/Reactive in 10/ 100 situations should not take away the Tag/Pride of being Lazy.

How do we resolve this problem to protect the interests of Lazy’s being active in some cases yet preserving their identity?

Specially in today’s competitive world, where the Lazy ones are an Endangered Species. :D

Either we introduce the Degree of Laziness. But classifying Laziness in these terms sounds demeaning.

Rather we classify a few Activities which are an exception to the norm.

Basically not few but 2 – Eating & Entertainment.

People Travel, Strive and even Work Hard for these two; YES even Lazy people do that.

Taking away their Identity (of being Lazy) just because the show glimpses of activity for 2E’s is not fair.

So I introduce a term SLaziness meaning Selective Laziness.

SLazy (n) - A person who is Lazy normally, but shows slight activity under Extraordinary circumstances like the craving for Food or the desire for Entertainment.

Usage – Pranay is not lazy and neither is he active. He is SLazy just like me. :P

Usage names the 2 people whose great thought and discussion has been used as a foundation for this post.

SActive will also be used now :)

PJ

We often think along the lines according to our situation/ circumstances.

Like in school we think in a particular way in college another and another diff version pops up while working. There should be something which allows us to think creative, let our brains sharpen.

Something which is not available to Maggu’s (voracious readers) nor is searchable by Techies (not Google-able).

Such a thing will force us to use our brains rather than our ability to READ or SEARCH.

Coz I believe brain is a processor, using it as a hard disk is no good :)

There are only two things which fulfill the criteria Puzzles and PJ’s :)

Those who don’t know what PJ’s are – well u can stop here

Of the two PJ’s score slightly above Puzzles as they involve more of creation vis-à-vis puzzles concentrate more on solution. :)

Here’s a Graph for the graphically inclined :P

So to start with , Here are some things to ponder and help you to begin –

1. Why do Chemistry people think iron man is a lady?
2. Windows has a grammatical mistake. What is it?
3. Why you should not finish pending jobs?
4. Are 'Susti'(laziness) and 'Sustain' derived from the same root?
5. What does u call an advice seeker from Ants?

By the way

$#@& = knowing Australia will cheat in cricket. (This requires no brain because they always do it)

Answer Key-

1. Fe-Male
2. Windows "IS" shutting down.
3. U can't be RIGHT if u do what is LEFT
4. I also have no idea
5. Consult-Ant

All the best :P

Reduce GLOBAL WARMING non-Literate Way :)

-->

Every Small portion of thing in crisis is useful


Water shortage - every drop of water counts

Electricity shortage - every unit counts

Money Shortage - every penny/paisa counts

When it’s Global Warming – Every LETTER printed counts

I extend this argument to PAPER SPACE – when you need to save PAPER every LETTER counts

-->

HOW

LETTER Saved=>Less Space Needed=>Less Paper Required=>Less Trees Cut=>Reduced GLOBAL WARMING

Every letter eradicated saves some space. And Saved Space is directly proportional to saved trees or reduced Warming

We can Start by using one size smaller font :)

There are many ways to do it, let’s go step wise

1.    Remove the USELESS letters. Nobody knows who put them there.

For example P in pneumonia; Cupboard and Psyche; B in Debt; M in Mnemonic;L in Calf, Half, Talk, Walk etc.They are just there serving no purpose because no one said why?

If we just remove these letters we save a Letter with no COST

2.    All written EXAMS are a major source of paper waste. Ideally eliminate the exams (or do them electronically)—If Not possible then keep word limit and deduct marks for every extra LETTER written

3.    Replace are by r and AND by & ( I guess no Explanation Required)

4.    Destroy all Synonyms of 1 word leaving the only 1 that needs least space

Just to see the magnitude

We save space = (No. of words with useless letters) X (No. of books) X (No. of occurrences of the words in the book)

• we can look at using SMS language, banning Authors who write big books............
• i will add Bharat's name in Credits too :)