I had come first in second standard.
Now even after 22 years I really still fail to understand how that had happened.
But everyone was so happy, I got a big toy gun too. I was thrilled at the attention I got.
Reality was different -------
Actually I had created a monster, a monster called ‘expectations’.
I only realized it an year later, now only in 3rd standard I was ‘expected’ to come first again, I failed.
I mean not failed literally but failed to come first. Though I did not get scolded or beaten but everyone was disappointed.
Anyone else would have tried to fight back and top again in 4th standard, not me though.
I proved too smart for my age, i understood that it was a viscious circle and could only be stopped by killing the monster. If I topped 4th then 5th would be no better, damn topping would ruin my entire life during education.
So Smartness triumphed over Thrill, Killer Instinct and Hardwork
Since that day I made ‘not to top any exam’ a part of my ethics :)
