Not to top any exam :| :|

I had come first in second standard.

Now even after 22 years I really still fail to understand how that had happened.

But everyone was so happy, I got a big toy gun too. I was thrilled at the attention I got.

Reality was different -------

Actually I had created a monster, a monster called ‘expectations’.

I only realized it an year later, now only in 3rd standard I was ‘expected’ to come first again, I failed.

I mean not failed literally but failed to come first. Though I did not get scolded or beaten but everyone was disappointed.

Anyone else would have tried to fight back and top again in 4th standard, not me though.

I proved too smart for my age, i understood that it was a viscious circle and could only be stopped by killing the monster. If I topped 4th then 5th would be no better, damn topping would ruin my entire life during education.

So Smartness triumphed over Thrill, Killer Instinct and Hardwork

Since that day I made ‘not to top any exam’ a part of my ethics :)

B O O K S

*************

Many people like to read. I do not hate reading but it rates low in the pyramid.
I have a clear Hierarchy defined for "stationary entertainment activities". These activities under consideration exclude any physical activity like playing, running, walking or eating etc.

This precisely includes only 3 sources of entertainment
1. Spoiling your eyes in front of TV
2. Spoiling your eyes in front of Computer
3. Spoiling your eyes in front of a book

A hierarchy for precisely these.
Books are out unless there is total inability to do other 2 activities.

But books are very useful. Very very useful
In fact there are too many uses of books , I try to encompass a few of them below

1. Weight related uses–
a. Paperweight - They weigh a lot
b. Weightlifting - in case dumbbells are too costly, books weigh enough
c. Value - a read newspaper and book are both useless but books weigh more

2. Source of heat - they burn well
3. Weapons – they hit hard
4. Storage – I can store my exquisite bookmarks in it
5. Pillow – if you don’t have a pillow 2 fat books would substitute
6. Intellect - Always carry a mystifying book, preferably philosophy and you’d be regarded as intelligent i.e. if you keep quiet.
7. Showpiece – Create a library
8. Antiques - This is possible if your great great granddad had a thing for book collecting
9. Fan- extreme heats, electric failure, don’t worry hold the book in your hand and move it right to left, fast.
10. Door block –Self explanatory
11. Ladder - slanted stack of books
12. Seat – straight stack of books
13. Paper Planes
14. Book Cricket - most of us would have done this during lectures (b4 laptops)
15. Practicing cat-walk by keeping book on head while walking
16. Gifting - books are good gifts
17. Reading - well actually you can read them too :)

Note:1- this is only an indicative list. The actual usage may depend on various factors ranging from geographical to mental.
Note:2- The number of actual uses is much more - toilet paper.. killing mosquitoes.. storing lovers flowers .. stop rain .....
Thanks - Special thanks to Pranay and Abhijit to increase my of uses of books :)

A-Z of why I don't want to get married so early

Age - 26 does not seem so old assuming an average age of 70
Base location - If both are working then they need to be located in same city
Carelessness- I need to live totally carelessly for a few years
Dilemma - Quandary
Expenses - Expenses will more than triple

Future - Currently i worry about mine, then i need to worry about our future :|
Generation Gap - Every generation the marrying age gets delayed by 4 years (I have empirical evidence :P)
Herd Mentality - Most of my friends are not planning to get married soon , Why should I?
Inertia - I am happy without a big change right now
Job - same as base location
Kids - next logical in sequence,more responsibility, more scary
Luck
Maturity - I don't believe I am mature enough for this
Nocturnal - Used to stay awake at nights and sleep till late, will i adjust to normal lifestyle?
Opportunity cost - self explanatory
Peer Pressure - Some people did get married, but then i never buckled under peer-pressure
Quandary - Dilemma
Responsibility - means i can't return home anytime i want daily
Settled life - I do not exactly feel settled so why add further chaos ;)
Trouble - Unquestioned lifestyle will definitely be set aside
Undo - This feature won't be available so i don't want to rush
View - Same as below
Watch - let's learn by others mistakes, via observation :P
X-factor - ineXplicable but close to luck
Y shd I ? basic question - why should I?
Z - I can't think more , Z is only to complete the alphabet ;)

The ambiguity of Quotes

The ambiguity of Quotes

Quotes are XYZ ( means i do not want to explain what quotes are or how important they are )

But with very little intelligence or slice of luck you can modify their meanings.
As has always been lets take an example

“कल करे सो आज कर – आज करे सो अब”

Meaning –
What you need to do tomorrow, finish it today itself. And for things to be done today do them NOW
Clearly states the importance of beginning and finishing tasks early.

Ambiguity can be induced by either Interpretation or Timing. Both are required for changing the complete meaning.

The first part is taken care by Interpretation while second portion requires perfect Timing

Interpretation - कल the word itself is dual meaning.
Along with tomorrow it also means Yesterday ;)

If we replace the meaning with yesterday the Quote turns on its head :D :D

What you needed to do yesterday do it today ;)

Timing –
Try quoting the second part towards the end of the day (definitely past 11th hour)
This will imply what you needed to do today (today morning) you can do in the evening / night ;)

Combine Interpretation and Timing and Awesome – the quote now is
What you needed to do yesterday do it today + What you needed to do early in the day can be done later ;)

TV

We were born in India at the same time as Tv was born.

Practically there were no computers forget laptops. Everyone used to watch Tv together

We used to see soaps like Mahabharat, Ramayana.
Comedies like Flop Show , Dekh Bhai Dekh
Shows like Surbhi, Tehkikaat
English ones like Street Hawk and Knight Rider

Then as we grew up we had to waste more time into ungainly activities like studies.
During that time we had a fixed slot of being awake
We used to sleep at 10:00 hrs and get up at 6:30 hrs
Most of the awake time was taken by activities like school and getting ready for school and commuting to and fro from school.
We played in the evening … returned home had dinner and slept after a while.
In this limited amount of time we also had to fulfill expectations of school teachers –aka HOMEWORK

As we grew old the study part increased
And as we could not compromise on important activities like dinner and play the time had to come from sleep/Tv time.

This started our degradation into watching lesser Tv.
Then after a certain period of time we enetered 10th the era of tuitions => we had to devote time to a subset of school in the evenings and mornings.
This Tv deficiency continued for few more years and worsened.

Then we entered college and the first thing we discovered was that we could cut time from unimportant activities like lectures ;) so that we could do all other important work.
We never missed a cricket match again unless it was on day of exams.

Then sometime in mid of all this COMPUTERS arrived and to turn things worse ….advent of Internet, Cd’s DVD’s almost killed the good old Tv.

# # # # in the picture denotes the advent of the internet/laptops/dvd/vcd etc etc

A moron’s guide to more moronic questions

We often come across questions in various facets of our life.
Many a times we feel these are redundant, useless, waste of time.
The questions are long …..really long … so long that you feel that if such questions were never printed we would not have faced the global warming problem. :)
The answers (or expected answers) fare even worse.

I quest to resolve those issues by focusing on the answers
Assumption – we are not yet in a position to manipulate (eliminate will be better) the questions

Lets begin
A moron’s guide to more moronic questions ;-)

1. Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years? 7-10 years?
Ans – I am good at math’s 3-5 = -2. Two years in my past – 2008. By same logic – 2007 :)

2. Sometimes, we may find a group of people disagreeing with our beliefs/point of view. Give us an instance where you had to convince a group of people on your point of view. (Maximum 500 characters)?
Ans - If I had convinced 500 characters why would I be here :O

3. At times, many of us are caught in a situation of moral conflict, where we have to choose between two seemingly right alternatives. Give us one situation when you faced this conflict. How did you resolve it?
Ans - I had a coin :)

4. Tell me about a time when you had to make a split second decision.
Ans - The time when my fist decision was accused of being too generic or joint :)

5. Describe a situation where you had to assimilate analyze a lot of information to reach a sound decision.
Ans – Well we had a Dj party at college and I was incharge of the Music System..... :) :)

Bad Day

I had to travel again
It was a routine official tour.
I Booked the ticket 2 days ago.
And Went to Old Delhi Railway station.
Just decided to look at the list of passengers and saw my name was not there.
I Checked my tickets to realize I was one day early :(

I say - Not my day
and Came back from the railway track

Booked a movie online.
Went to ticket counter with the ticket ID
ID did not match. SO i gave credit card to countercheck, it didn’t match either.
i Checked my mail.
I had booked the tickets in a theater with same name in Lucknow instead of Delhi.
By the time we asked for new tickets ….show was houseful :(

Some days are bad :X
Just like today- Friday 13th August , 2010

I do not believe in 13 being bad or Friday the 13 being bad..........