Friday, September 11, 2009

Autobiography of TARGET

My Name is TARGET
Imaginary, Multiple, Worldwide

About Me –

Birthday– 1st April
Location – Arbitrary documents, Excel Sheets, Bosses / Employee’s Brains
Relationship Status- Impossible.
Here for –Sadistic Pleasures
First thing you will notice: I am too far

Hello everyone my name is TARGET.
I am existing in various forms across the globe. The biggest bosses in companies and corporate create me to continue their reign. I am thrust upon their subordinates who in turn do the same.I am the source of power for superiors at every level.

I get split into parts when I am thrust down the food chain.

Biggest Boss (1) --> Bigger Boss (3, 4)--> Big Boss (a few)....-->Employee (too many)
(Employee is the last node with no subordinate)

If someone gets too close to me, I am given a boost by the immediate superior.
HaHaHa (sarcastic smile) and I get away again.

Family--

There are some close relatives of mine who never show up if I am not present.
Namely promotion and raise are my loved cousins. We are so close that they do not go anywhere without me. But they are considered socially awkward by the evil “humor recourse” people. So these people try to keep me away so that my cousins automatically don’t show up.

About Me Again--

I enjoy a lot during my life. I see people slog to get me…oh I am so desirable :)
But my lifespan is too short; whether someone gets me or not I will die soon.
And I even know when I will die.

Personal Advice--

Do try to get me but don’t waste your life for me, coz I have multiple lives.
I will be born again with renewed strength and you will be the same, even more exhausted.

But what the heck I enjoy my life you too do :)


RIP – 31st March

6 comments:

Unknown said...

You are getting better everyday

Nikesh Rathi said...

God Level.

junkyard said...

AWESOME by all standards: content, context, diction, word-selection, profoundness, aptness, humor...i mean unbelievably creative stuff.

Moksha said...

I prostate myself before thee!
O lord of everything that doesn't make sense to the outside world!
:P :P

AmeyaKhasgiwala said...

Gr8 Stuff. Probably I can add something to what you wrote.

TARGET

Most of the times Senior Management hangs me like a banana on a tree. Employee like a monkey tries hard, practicing jumps, to get hold of me...

par mei kisi ke haath nahi aata,
jo mere peeche bhage - mei usi ki lagata,
marna hai mujhe ek din, mar hi jaunga,
abey employee - tu kyu hai aish waale din gawata...


hahaha ;-)

Jaspreet said...

Loved it. One thought though...target is not only split down the levels, it is also padded. Hypothetically if everyone in the chain achieves targets, someone at the top achieves 200% :)